so if you have been following me on instagram,
you have probably noticed that things are a changing in this mama.
all kinds of change. and im so excited to share with you all.

but first let me share a piece of my heart.

i was talking to my mom the other day and told her my concern of sharing.
like all the nitty, gritty, raw, honest parts...
how for so long i've seen both sides of the "body love" scale.

one side::
the love the skin your in. you don't need to be a size 2 to love yourself.
(nothing against smaller mamas, women, men. xo)
embrace those stretch marks ::life rays:: you don't need a beach body.
bikini ready body means... put on a bikini. BAM.

the other side::
get all those workouts in. calorie count. diet. extreme fitness.
be proud of what your body is accomplishing. its strength. say goodbye fat.
be sexy. lean. toned. healthy. bye bye frumpy.

i really struggled to find the happy balance.
i think most of us do.

i wanted to start fresh.
i knew i needed a change.
but i was stuck.

since i was pregnant with solomon,
all the infomercials would keep me company while i begged for sleep to come.
it always seemed to be a beachbody commercial.
i ignored them. no way could they really work.
who has the time. the money. its a scam.

then after solomon was born,
we had early morning feedings,
ryan would get up for work and there it would be.
21 day fix.
both ryan and i were intrigued...
could it really work?
was this the jumpstart we needed...?

i love my body. im proud of what its done.
i thought that if i "got on board and tried to be a size 2"
i would basically be telling myself
"i hate you. fat disgusting you. you have to be skinny to be happy"
and who tells themselves that?!

me. i did. every day. for years.
i fought so hard "to love my body. just the way it was"
but inside... i was hating myself.
brutal honest truth.

almost a TWO FULL YEARS went by and mama was unraveling.
not just about her weight.
her purpose.
her worth.
her mind.
her energy.
her health.
inside and out.

the ugly truth was right there in the mirror.
it didn't matter my size.
i had dismissed myself. all that self-loathing hatred for my own body...
it was eating me alive from the inside out.

did i have those moments of self love and appreciation...
but they were overshadowed by the daily self shame i placed on myself.

ryan noticed and didn't know how to help.
all he knew to do was support me.
but how?

i started telling myself,
every time i thought or said something negative about my body.
it might have been a few hours later,
but i physically told myself.
"Kate your beautiful. your strong."

but the one thing i couldn't tell myself...
"your healthy."

my dad visited a few months ago...
we have a close relationship.
we're bluntly and openly honest.

he said to me,
"you need to lose some weight.
that is going to kill you." [pointing to my stomach]

i don't know if he even remembers saying this to me,
but i can tell you...
it was the moment i KNEW i needed a change.

first, let me get this VERY CLEAR for those who want to punch my dad...
who think he was calling me fat. ugly... whatever.

this was my dad expressing concern.
for his daughter.
for being honest enough with her to tell her the truth.
even if he didn't realize it that very moment.

but the truth was...
i was slowly killing myself.

that belly fat wasn't going anywhere,
and it increased my risk for SO MANY diseases.
it also took years off of my life.

raw honest truth.

it was taking years away from my littles.
my husband.
my nest.

what did i have to lose?
[well.. other than fat ;) ]

so i jumped in.
that was three weeks ago...

not only did i jump in with the 21 day fix extreme...
i jumped in with personal development and self care.
i told myself every day...
i am worth it.
i am strong.
i can do this.

i. am. healthier.

about a week in,
i was really convicted.
about my temple.

now you might think that this is where you might not "fit in"
because you might not share the same faith that i do.
but i believe that we all can agree...
your body is your temple.
YOU are responsible for its care.
what you put in it. what you speak out.
how you love it.
how you honor it.

for if you won't take care of your temple,
where will you live?

for me, part of my spiritual worship...
is to "be transformed by the renewing of my mind"
so daily, i seek Him.
in quiet moments.
in loud crazy, pull my hair out moments.

i noticed when i actually SPOKE OUTLOUD,
my hopes, dreams...
my body would center.
when i spoke OUTLOUD,
"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
i could go a little bit further in my workout.

it was amazing to see the beginning of a transformation...
not just in my body...
but my mind.
my spirit.
my heart.

the littles actually started working out with me.
snacking on better foods with me.
[they have always been pretty awesome eaters...
if i do say so myself]

people around me,
in the day to day...
noticed a change.
my eyes were brighter.
my step lighter.

i didn't think i was changing that much...
until the pictures.




so to start to wrap this up... ;)
i really couldn't believe the changes that were happening.
but there they were.
staring right back at me.

i would start to get discouraged when i stepped on the scale...
because it wasn't "tons of weight"...
but then the photos...

my three week transformation...
6 pounds. 14 inches lost.
9.5 of that from my waist.

back to when i was talking to my mom...

i told her my heart.

that i wanted to encourage and inspire others.
i always have.
that i wanted to bridge the gap for "body love"
for there to be common ground.
to love ourselves, be proud of our ::life rays::
and also to stretch and grow in our health. fitness. wellness.

after these last three weeks...
a dream. a project.

i want to spark a flame.
to ignite passion and hope.
to restore our temples.
total wellness.
physical, mental, emotional, spiritual,
environmental, occupational, intellectual.

so i've started the project.
brand new.
and i would so love for you all to be a part.
im welcoming you with open arms...
lets restore our temples.

theres a tab at the top of the blog that will link you...
or just CLICK HERE!


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