i can not believe we are half-way through this volume. my third Sakura Bloom The Sling Diaries Entry :: All the Love :: Vol V what a roller-coaster this has been. i am loving connecting with you all, please continue to let me know more about you, ask any questions, and interact through this blog and IG. this has been such a cathartic and refreshing project to be a part of. i really have to stretch myself with these themes! this months theme : SURPRISE! hold on...


"...maybe love is your recognition and amazement in being surprised by how much care you are capable of giving, the amount of worry you can have, the fervent desire in wanting the best for the other person, and your ability to lift them higher. maybe its really that simple. to really love another is to be connected to the goodness in you." -author unknown

my sweet littles,
my dears.
this. this right here.
this is the love i was surprised with.
this is the love i pray you are blessed enough to find.

your daddy and i have such a precious love story.
one that has surprises lurking in the midst.
i thrive on surprises.
the good and the bad.

and your daddy knows that.
he counts on that.

my heart races thinking of all the little things...
the special things that caught me by surprise about him.

the words i spoke years about a boy,
rapping in a yellow jump-suit at a youth fine arts conference,
whom i'd never met,
but jokingly said to my sister,
im going to marry him.
the years that passed,
the missed appointments where we would have met,
but never did.
but that one sunday morning,
visiting a new church,
the moment i laid eyes upon him...
i knew.
something special was there.

your daddy proposed to me,
it was a complete surprise.
a drive, blind-folded all over Katy.
the stopped car, in the place of our first date.
a scrapbook of all the little secrets we had.
photos of all our special places/things.
the T.G.I.Fridays where i apparently never gave him my number to.
the promise rings we gave to each other.
a photo of us,
that he had decorated little "bride" and "groom" decals to.
that when i looked at him, i still was confused,
he had the box upside down. no ring to be seen.
he figured his mistake,
we laughed and hugged.
your daddy, the college freshman,
had worked extra shifts,
played lotto tickets at the gas station he worked,
to get my dream ring.
a simple princess solitaire.
but you see,
thats us.
he wanted the best for me.
and the surprise is and will always be,
he is whats best for me.

even if it took us years before we figured out,
he was the one in that yellow jump-suit.


the look in his eye when he plays with you littles, 
it captures me all over again. 

sweet littles, 
you both are our rainbow babies.
all four of you, 

your oldest brother, Noah.
he was gone before we knew it.
i fell into a hole where i never thought i'd see the light again.
two years later,
my precious delight.
my eden elizabeth.

i remember calling your daddy at work, 
unable to contain my excitement and surprise, 
we were pregnant!
the worry, the stress of making sure you were healthy and safe.
it was overwhelming.
and then you were born.
in a blink of an eye it seems.
almost three years ago.

then your sister Nora.
that positive pregnancy test,
the growing belly. 
then the surprise.
the blood. the physical pain.
she was gone.
again that pain began to engulf me.
but i had you my sweet eden.
it kept me present.
as hard as it was,
we moved forward.

with the excitement of a new home, 
we were yet again surprised just a few weeks later...
another positive pregnancy test.
that was you, 
solomon thor.
our rainbow that was quick, steadfast.
i thought you would be early. 
that you would be a peaceful, calm delivery.
oh my boy, 
that you were not.
once again that surprise.
but in all the best ways.

the intoxicating love you littles bring me.
the challenges of finding myself through this mamahood.
the endless worry, concern and prayers i have for you,
it is by no means shocking and full of surprise.
i would have never expected the journey you littles have brought to me.
to us.

my hope for you, 
is that you will have someone who is with you, 
along side you, 
to experience those surprises.
to be a part of those surprises.
to spoil you with little surprises.
just like your daddy does with me.

like when he knew i had two slings being delivered.
with lots of history behind them, 
mama's who had walked this sling diarist journey before,
their littles snuggles and sleepy dust covered in the folds.
he knew of this theme : surprise 
and my troubles with its formation.

so when he picked us up, from a weekend at your aunts, 
all of us exhausted, un-showered, sickly, and ready to go home...
he had these slings waiting for me.
and a surprise stop on the way home.
the surprise was to go feed the zoo animals, 
and take photos of our adventure, 
but weather had other plans...
so we improvised and went shopping at a gift shop on the drive home, 
took photos on mama's dying iphone, bought rocks and a hat,
and made giggles and laughs that will fill my heart for years.

you see, 
surprises can be planned.
they can come unexpectedly.
but one thing they will always be...
good or bad.
they might be grand, or make you question everything.

its life.
its the heartbeat of it.

surprise in a way... is love.
its ability to catch you unexpectedly.
and its ability to grasp its hold on you indefinitely.


kate is wearing sakura bloom :: linen simple in plum 
ryan is wearing sakura bloom :: silk simple in sakura