::a theme... i wrote this post almost two years ago...
you would think i would learn::

having minimal sleep really does change a person.
i have been overly tired,
it feels like im way past exhausted.

i was able to go grocery shopping by myself a few days ago,
once i pulled into the parking lot i realized...
i didn't remember the entire drive.
my mind was for sure on auto-pilot.

it took me about 5 min sitting in the car,
to realize...
something needs to change.
no matter how badly we needed groceries,
nothing is worth the risk that i had just taken.
now i wasn't drunk, under any influences,
i was just.that.tired.

while in target,
i took my time. prayed for strength and alertness.
got our groceries. loaded the car.
blasted the cold air and said yet another prayer to wake me up.
to keep His angels around me while i drove home.
to help me figure out what i needed to change.

im still working through that.
weeding through what really warrants my attention this moment.
that play dates, a spotless house,
home cooked meals every night, unnecessary drama...
those things are not for right now.

right now...
my goal is for balance.
i know that this season of life is crazy.
overwhelming. and down right hard.
that i really expect too much from myself.

but i am seeing the wear and tear that my physical body is going through.
the signs that are screaming at me to slow down...
feeling drained and exhausted. not being able to stop my mind.
spotting. no cycle has come back... yet. [and i hope it doesnt for a while!]
my milk supply.
my littles effected by my lack of self-care.
their sleep is disrupted.
the frustrations that come out.

time to stop.
take care of me.
for the sake of myself.
my husband.
my littles.

so friends, mamas....
what do you do to take care of you?