my sweet babies,
you are both growing so quickly.
days seem to never end, 
but the months and years...
they are flying by.

this past week has been rough.
like really hard.
especially with little miss.
yes you eden. 

oh my sweet girl, 
you are so imaginative, creative...
full of life. joy. love.

but girl...
you are strong-willed.
you know what you want.
and mama is learning to deal.

your mimi gave me some pieces of advice, 
honestly, she gives me a lot, 
but these are two things i have to say to myself... daily.
well, multiple times a day.

"pray for wisdom and guidance how to DIRECT them"
not control you. not force you.
to direct you. to lead you.
to listen to you.

as much as i want you to stay little, 
to always look at me for what to do next...
you are becoming your own.
you are learning you.
just as mama is learning herself.

her other piece of advice,
"give yourself some grace"
your mama needs to work on that.
you need to see mama give herself that grace.
not striving for perfection.

i want you littles to see and remember that...
mama laughed.
mama cried.
mama danced.
mama sang.
mama sat still and listened.
mama used her voice. in more ways than one.
that mama wasn't perfect.
mama was real. raw.
mama was mama.
mama was your mama.

i hope to...
help you grow.
show you love.
teach you grace.
teach you to give yourself grace.
i hope to inspire you both. to love you fiercely and let you grow.
to let you be you.
to direct you in the way you were designed...

in perfect wisdom. only given by Him.
so i will seek Him.
even in these rough, hard, sleepless nights...
i will strive for grace and love.


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