we all have them. they are a part of life. its whether you choose to let them run your life or acknowledge them for what they are, give them to God, and move forward...

some of the anxieties i have, just recently...

- will i be a good mom?
- what if i make the wrong decision and mess up so bad?
- where are we going to live?
- when exactly will we be in Pennsylvania?
- will we be able to keep our animals, which are our family?
- i have 7 weeks of work left... what is going to happen with only having one income?
- will i succeed with my business?
- how am i going to get the house gone through, organized, and packed before her arrival?
- my mimi's health--- there is a lot attached to this one.
- what if we can't sell ryan's car?
- i still haven't gained any weight, is eden ok? (the dr. assures me she is fine and growing)
- am i eating the right foods?
- am i drinking enough water- especially in this crazy heat?
- do i need to be working out more? more yoga?
- am i relaxing enough?
- do i need to practice more techniques?
- am i forgetting something extremely important that has somehow fallen through the cracks?
- is God really going to see us through?....

this is where i stop and tell myself... STOP. BREATHE. 

what do i have control over? 
real control?
nothing, other than how i choose to react.

i know that God is faithful.
i remind myself of His promises and His word... 

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows"- Luke 12:7

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." - Philippians 4:6

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7-8

"But I'll take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they're going.I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch.These are the things I'll be doing for them— sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute." Isaiah 42:16 (The Message)

"“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 25-34

Once i remind myself of His promises... i get an overwhelming sense of peace and grace. an indescribable peace. My spirit is soothed and i feel a lightening in my chest and thank God that we do not have to go through this alone. and then he reminds me of the little joys in life that make you laugh and smile by...

moments like last night at 11:11...

ryan and i are both on our computers, in bed, quiet, only the sound of typing keys and a dog grooming herself... and ryan says, "ahh... thats why!".... huh, what?

"theres a guy on this game whose name is captain bobo. couldn't figure out why that sounded familiar and then i remembered thats what Amber used to call her butt,"

me- "haha, you remember that?!?"

ryan- "yeah.." smiles, and then laughs, "don't you remember when she yelled it in the middle of the store?" more laughter.

oh my sweet ryan... this makes my heart smile. oh eden, i can not wait for you to be here and for memories to be made! whatever you decide to call you bottom, butt, rear-end, bobo... :)

**side note: Amber was one of the little girls i nannied when we first moved here. i watched her and her siblings for almost 3 years, she was a mini-me and i still hear stories of how much she is like me to this day...

no matter what life challenges we face, I know that God is with us.

"And if God is for us, then who can be against us?... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b]neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-38


  1. Hey after reading your blog i must say that you have too many questions, let it go, just relax and don't think too much...

  2. sister, your posts lighten my weary spirit. You are helping me through the roughness that I am trudging through (even though it is 180 degrees different) I love you so much and I pray that I will someday grasp all of what God has for me, as you do. I love you